Saturday, July 7, 2012

Frequently Asked Questions/Comment

As the babies are getting a little older, we've been getting a lot of questions.  Most of you know that I don't mind this- usually!  I think that immediately after they were born that most everyone was a little scared to ask us too much about them since we were just hoping and praying that they would survive.  However, now...the questions are endless.

Are they triplets? Yes, which is quickly followed by...Are they identical? No.  They are all fraternal.  However, lots of people are surprised to know that within a set of triplets that 2 of the 3 could be identical or they could all be identical.

Did you know that you were having three? I feel like this is a loaded question.  Did I know that I was having three before I delivered them? Yes.  OR  Did I purposely have three eggs implanted/use fertility drugs? No.  (This seems to be the "feeler" question that people ask to find out if we used 'modern medicine' to conceive the babies.)  * They are spontaneous triplets, but with that being said, it really isn't a strangers place to be asking this question.

I bet you never sleep.  OR  When was the last time you had a full nights sleep? False and last night.  Our babies go to bed at 7:30pm and wake up at 7:30am.  There is no magic in this. We do not give them Benadryl!  They have been on a very strict schedule since they came home from the hospital and while this schedule oftem limits us, it is also VERY beneficial to us.  However, it has not always been this way.  For the first 3-4 months we were up every 2-3 hours all night, every night.  I feel like we have certaintly "earned" this right to a good nights sleep.  During the day, the babies are quite busy, so yes, I am still tired, but sometimes (unfortunately) sleeep eludes me.

Your hands are full. Indeed, and so is my heart.

How much help do you have? I am never sure how to answer this question.  Both of our parents' are willing to watch the kids for a few hours when we go out (usually with Jaxon) on Saturday. The grandparents are very helpful, but are still working full time.  We also don't expect anyone to stop living their lives in order to help us out.  I also have some wonderful friends that  occasionally come to visit and occupy the babies while I get some things done around the house.

Do triplets run in your familiy? I always think that this one is a bit funny.  I'm sure that what they meant to ask was, "Are there other sets of multiples in your family?" However, as soon as they ask this, I see (in my head) the babies running wild all around our house during our family Christmas festivities.  I digress.  The answer to this one is YES and NO.  Noah's father is a surviving twin, but I'm not sure if he's an identical or fraternal twin. Two of my great aunts had a set of twins and my father's sister had a set of twins.  Of those, I know that at least 2 of those 3 sets were identical. Supposedly, identical twinning is completely random (not genetic.)  With that being said, I have no idea if I had some sort of great genetic dispositioning to increase the odds of having multiples, but as we all know, I had them anyways!

Do you dress them alike? (Usually this question is being asked as the stranger is looking directly at my babies.) I don't always dress them in the same outfits.  I don't think that Kate would appreciate that.  I always try to make sure that they coordinate or are at least wearing the same kinds of clothes.  For example, I like for them all to wear a t-shirt and shorts, or a romper, or pants and a button up shirt...not one in a romper, one in a shirt and shorts and the other in a button up shirt with pants. Dresses for Kate are the only exception to this rule.

Who is your favorite? This is complicated.  I love them all equally, but I do treat them as individuals.  Nash loves to cuddle, Knox loves to laugh and tickled, and Kate loves to "talk."  I really cherish special moments with each child.  Some days, one baby is in a better mood than the other.  When Noah gets home, I never tell him that (Baby _ ) was my favorite baby today! When he gets home, I tell him what each baby did that was new or what they did or didn't like about a new meal. Basically, I wish the question was rephrased to, "What is your favorite thing about each baby?" I wish that everyone didn't refer to them as a unit.

Double Trouble. (Triple Trouble.) Yes, you read it correctly. People often refer to the (3) babies as twins.  We were shopping with them earlier this week and we overheard a nearby gawker say, "Double Trouble."  (We couldn't help but laugh at such an ignorant comment. Double? Since when is three of anything considered to be double?)  Triple trouble, maybe so, but it's also triple the hugs, smiles, and kisses.

I have a 3 year old, a 22 month old and a 10 week old, you know that's just as hard (or harder) thank having three at once. Okay.  Did you potty train them all at once?
My sister has twins. Okay.
--I never know what to say to these comments.  I know that the "stranger" is trying to make small talk, but I never know how to reply to these, which usually just makes it the end of the conversation.

I would kill myself if I had triplets. Please never say this to a mother of multiples...ever.  This is hurtful, even though I think that it's usually just said in jest.

Better you than me. Unfortunately, I believe that I have been guilty of using this phrase myself.  Sorry to whomever I offended.

Do you have any other (non-offensive) questions for me?  Leave a comment below, and I'll do my best to answer you!

1 comment:

  1. I can relate to hearing a lot of the same questions. Please consider linking this post (or another post) to Multiples Monday on Capri + 3. It is open until midnight tonight PST and then every Monday all day. It is for blogs about multiples to post links to recent or beloved blog posts each week.

    : 0 ) Theresa